We’ve all probably experienced it. You’re heading for an appointment, and as you’re walking along minding your own business, suddenly a bus passes and in one brief moment your once pristine outfit is now splattered with mud from head to toe. It’s not just that you have to deal with the visible effects of your morning encounter, but there’s that horrible reality that you are going to be standing before others who will be making their own judgements about your appearance. With your head hung low and a multitude of excuses on your lips you feel the warmth of embarrassment sweep through your being as you enter the room. Shame, through no direct fault of your own other than you were standing in the splash zone, has filled your heart.

It’s one thing to be a recipient of dirt splashed from a passing bus, but what happens when someone is splattered by the effects of someone else’s sin? How do we help the wife who is shamed because of her husband’s sin becoming public news, the wife of the pastor caught in moral failure who now has to face the whole church, the husband whose wife is caught in adultery, the pastor whose son is arrested for drug possession, the elder whose daughter becomes pregnant out of wedlock, or the teenager whose father has just walked out? Sin is messy and its backwash can be devastating for those caught in its wake. 

Invite them to Lament:

God speaks loudly into our suffering. The Psalms are filled with the anguished questions of those who are suffering because of the reality of living in a sin-cursed world, those suffering shame because of being “splashed by sin”. In Psalm 4 David cries out to God for relief. His own son, Absalom, is trying to kill him and has publicly shamed him, yet David turns his pain to trust in the Lord. He pours out his heartache and questions to God, but he doesn’t stay stuck in self pity. He reminds himself of his own propensity for sin when anger over injustice rises in his heart. He counsels himself to stop, think and be quiet. He chooses to remember God’s goodness in the past and reminds himself of the character of God, that He is trustworthy and good. God brings peace and sleep as David rests in God’s sovereignty over his life. Safety is found in Him alone because He is ultimately in control.

Invite them to Remember:

As we suffer because of fallout from the sin of others, we need to remember our Saviour. Paul pleads with the Philippian believers to, “have this way of thinking in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,” (2:5 LSB) No one ever has, or ever will, bear the shame of other’s sin like Jesus. As believers, Peter tells us in 1 Pet 2:19-23 that there is a sense in which we are connected to Jesus when we suffer unjustly. We get to identify in a very small way with what He endured at the cross when He bore the penalty for our sin and the accompanying shame. And yes, when we’re hurting we need to remember that it was our sin that held Jesus on the cross. He replaced our dirty robes with the robes of His righteousness. He took the shame on himself that we deserved. As we grow in understanding the depth of our own sin we will grow in offering grace to others who sin against us. Because of what Jesus went through, there is the wonderful comfort that He knows exactly what you’re feeling. He understands the weight of the shame and pain that happens when we’re on the receiving end of the fallout from the sin of another. 

As we approach His throne we can come near with confidence that He will give an abundance of mercy and grace in our time of need. (Heb 4:15-16)

Invite them to Hope:

No matter what we are going through right now, we are reminded that this isn’t the end of our story. For all those who have placed their hope in Jesus, Paul says, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (Rom 8;18). In the messiness of our journey, like Pilgrim, we trust that there is a “yet to come” where sin and its effects will be forever eradicated. We will one day see that in every painful and difficult situation God was at work in us, doing a redemptive work for our good and His glory. Nothing with Him was accidental but was part of making us more in the image of our beautiful Saviour. (Rom 8:28-29) In the book of Revelation, John tells us about what lies ahead of those who have been redeemed. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will be no longer any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain.”  (Rev 21:4) Even if our circumstances don’t change, we can know with confidence that the best is still ahead of us. 

Being splashed by sin can be incredibly difficult, but as we run to the Saviour, He captures us in His embrace and gives us the abundant grace we need to triumph over shame.